Pick Him Up at 5 O'clock

Arrangements were made for us to pick up our new "kid" at five the next evening. One of my favorite memories is our shopping trip the night before at Toys R Us. At the time it was exciting to walk through the giant toy store to choose special gifts for our new little boy. By law we needed to buy a car seat to bring him home. He needed toys, so we bought him a barn with farm animals. My husband wanted to buy him a guitar, but I talked him out of it. As it turns out he would have loved a guitar! We remembered to buy him bed rails, but had to return the next day to get a tooth brush and a step stool for him to reach the sink.

The following morning I went to my part time job at a local department store to tell my manager I was quitting effective immediately. I had completed my sales training a few months prior and quickly became one of their top sales people. I don't think she was happy with my leaving suddenly, but she had to see it coming, I think I told every customer that would listen that I was on a waiting list to adopt.

That afternoon my mother and sister came to help me clean house. Nesting again! I wanted all the household chores completed to be sure I would have plenty of time to dote on our new boy. Minutes passed as hours the day I was to become a Mom.

I met my husband at the agency at five. We were greeted by our social worker and lead to a playroom where Zachariah and his foster parents were playing. He was a beautiful boy. He had a blond buzz cut, blue eyes,a tender chipped tooth smile, a faded Lion King cartoon tee shirt and shorts too wide at the waist.

We attempted to play with Zach a little and let him investigate us a bit. It wasn't easy, he was told why we were meeting him, so he clung to his foster father and toy motorcycle. When it was time to say goodbye he began crying. Parents have a dictionary they use to decode crying. Each are surprisingly unique for the hurt cry, tired cry, sick cry, and false cry. His was an inconsolable guttural cry of unfathomable loss.

The other family was kind enough to bring a number items for Zach to keep. They brought gifts from his third birthday, just five days earlier, and a letter detailing his daily schedule and food preferences. We loaded the car and placed him in his new little car seat to take him to our home.

Driving home he stopped crying and pointed to buses and trucks on the way. We brought him to his new room and unpacked his paper grocery bags of clothes. "Mine! Mine!" he exclaimed happily as he helped place shirts and shorts in the drawers. I'm not sure if he was excited knowing he had clothes that belonged to him, or if he was surprised to see them at our house.

After a pizza dinner, we spent the evening watching him play joyfully with the neighborhood boys in a backyard sprinkler. He quickly makes friends and loves to play with other kids. It was an amazing summer evening and the eve of a long life together.

At bed time, I held him as he cried softly for his mommy. I tried to comfort him until he fell asleep in my arms. I didn't know him very well, and wasn't sure if I loved him yet, but I was undoubtedly committed to being his Mommy.

I'm a mommy now!